Friday, January 31, 2014

A new year – the next move.

So its 2014 and I am trying to figure out my next “move”

Late 2013 I had asked people to help me win a competition to win a free feedback session with a Broadway casting director ‘Duncan Stewart’ and I was thrilled to have won the competition. For me this was a big win and someone at a “Broadway Level” would finally hear my voice and I would actually get feedback on everything from my Headshot, CV, Song Choice and Look. So in mid December I sent in all the above and received my feedback from Duncan. He gave me great feedback and amazing compliments on my CV, voice, song choice and look. He also gave me feedback on parts in my song which have been completely helpful to change. But finally the truth has come out to why I have been getting through rounds and rounds of auditions, yet never getting that call to be hired. All because on my CV I don't have GREENCARD PERMIT! For all international performers wanting to work in USA they prefer you to have a GREENCARD instead of a visa. Duncan continued to tell me stories that he has dealt with as a casting director and people have been stopped at the border because their Visa’s haven’t fully come through in time when contracts needed to start. So with that news in mind – I may have to look into obtaining a greencard. SO MUCH EASIER SAID THEN DONE!

So my next move or what am I still doing in the states? Have I given up, NO.
I am finding ways to strengthen my skills and I am still finding ways to use my skills in surrounding local areas. Yet I am also following another avenue of work I love. But all these “life decisions” that we make have really been stressing me out and I have had many nights lying in bed and my mind hasn’t shut off and which has made me go to sleep around 4 or 5am. But one thing that I am doing over here is growing in my spiritual walk with God. I have said in other blogs that I feel my reason to come to the states was not for performing and I am constantly reminded of this and the doors that have opened to other avenues have been amazing. I am now exploring other visas that let me work for a company over here for 2 years, yes it is exciting but nothing is guaranteed that I will get this visa. I have been (slowly) reading a book called Crazy Love by Francis Chan (for those who know me I don't enjoy reading, yet it’s something that I have changed since being over here) and it talks about all worrying and stressing about situations and I have also had some of my friends over here enlighten me with the same verse of scripture.

Worry: Implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough to take care of what’s happening in our lives.
Stress: says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of GRACE toward others or our tight grip of control.

Proverbs 3:5-6  Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

That is easy to read, but hard to do. We all think we know what’s best for our situation. A good friend pointed this out to me. ‘Nathan you followed God’s plan to another country, you packed up your life and moved across the world. You didn’t know when you were returning home, so why are you now stressing/worrying about the next move in your life.’ That for me was a massive turning point for how I am now looking at the future. I literally let God take my all and He has lead me and provided for me. Not once have I worried whilst I have been over here, yet why am I now worrying. It was a good reminder for me that I need to loosen the “grips” over my life and surrender my life to Him again. He will never lead us into a situation that HE ALREADY KNOWS we won’t be able to handle.

I am constantly growing in life, learning new things and travelling abroad and living abroad is teaching my culturally as well as spiritually. I have made awesome friends/family over here that when the time comes for me to return home (whenever that may be) it will be very hard to leave. Have I changed – YES. Is it a good change – YES.

So let me rephrase my opening line.

So its 2014 and I await my next “move”