Revelation of Change

Well my 1st year of Hillsong College is done! It is totally crazy to think how fast that year has gone and how much I have grown. I still have at least another 2 years to go of college. I wanted to share with you all about a new revelation that I have had this week. 

Moments are placed in your life, Good and Bad. 
When God called me to attend Hillsong International Leadership College I decided to ignore Him 3 times (over 4month period). But it wasn’t until the 4th time in the USA - Baltimore in a Hillsong Worship night where He used some one so close to me to tell me I'm called to Hillsong College. I later then looked into the college and applied. 

So in 2015 I began this journey at Hillsong College. Before College I was not pure, I never believed in myself, would dream crazy dreams - but believed them for others so much bigger than my own. I would self doubt and re-speak words that were spoken over me by others and let it actually influence me and what/how I viewed myself. I was in a performing industry that is fast, quick, powerful and demanding, and I wasn’t called to play that way, yet I never knew that till now. I still love the industry and have such a love, a passion and a lean in towards the industry, but in 2014 God told me give it all up, to no longer pursue it professionally. So I did. 

It is now the end of 2015 and I am officially graduating my first year of college. Grad Ball was last night and it was so much fun to celebrate this crazy year it has been and to farewell many friends who are returning to their countries. My first year of Hillsong College is complete. A few of us use the term it's like "open heart surgery" without drugs (let me explain). I have felt every slice to my skin, the heavy blood loss, people feeling around the inside of my heart and chest to make sure I am good and reconnecting tubes, making sure that I don't "bleed out". 

Yet on the 25th November God sealed me up and this is my revelation. 

An opportunity was given to me outside of college to audition for a TV show in late October. I was excited and in complete shock that my trainers within the college thought of me to audition. It was exciting, it was a secret, it was scary. Yet as the 2nd and 3rd round came and I got closer I was at PEACE with the whole situation. For the first time in years, my heart, my mind, myself was happy, content with who and what I am and Who I am found in. I was able to sing my heart out and show people just a little bit of who I am now and even though I didn’t get through into the next stage I have had this massive revelation. 

GOD has worked a MIRACLE in my life. Everything that was in the old me, isn't in me anymore. This year involved being encouraged from the moment I walked into the college and the church. All the self doubt and hatred talk got removed from my mind and from my lips due to prayer and healing from that. I have been able to step forward and set into who I actually am and who God has created me to be. The fact that I got told "No" and the fact that I wouldn't be moving forward in the next stages was good news for me. I was now able to sit and recall how far I have actually come in this year. I am able to praise God and thank him for these changes, as now I am able to have a clearer mind, spirit and I am able to lead others who are also struggling. 

As I left the audition and I walked back home and sat in my room and began to type this up, I couldn't stop smiling and being thankful for the whole audition experience but also for this whole revelation of change. 

So here's what I want you to do, God helping you; Take your everyday, ordinary life - your sleeping, eating, going to work, and walking around life - and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well adjusted to your culture that you fit into i without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be CHANGED from the inside out. Readily recognise what He wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, GOD brings the BEST out of YOU, developed well-formed maturity in you. Romans 12:1-2 (MSG)

Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, Praise His Holy Name.

Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits, who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion Psalm 103:1-4 (MSG)

So we're not GIVING UP. How could we. Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without HIS unfolding GRACE. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here TODAY, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (MSG)

I AM LOVED

A few of you may know that I have started school at Hillsong International Leadership College in January this year and below is an off pour of things that God is teaching me as I journey through the ins and outs of study ministry and serving within the church.

WORDS
In our life the world likes to communicate to us that we need to look a certain way, dress this way and speak like that and for so long I have listened to the world, I have stood in front of people and let them talk negative things over my life and into my life.  I let others influence me. I would say it wouldn't bother me, but how many of us say "Oh that's ok" when really it's not? It was just slowly being repeated in my mind.
Whoever came up with "Sticks and Stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt me" SERIOUSLY that is the worst, as words do hurt. It makes me think back when my mum would say to me "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say it at all." If we just think about that statement and place that into our daily walks with each other, how much of an impact do you think we would make?
Ephesians 4:29 - Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Proverbs 16:24 - Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.

ACCEPTING ENCOURAGMENT I have found it not easy to accept encouragement and I don't understand why? But it's a process and something I am learning to accept. When people speak love, peace and light into your life they are taking time to speak to you (and that persons time is something that can not be given back.) They are also telling you how they see Jesus within you and that deserves to be acknowledged and listened to.
So when someone encourages you, listen - let them speak wisdom, love and light into you, then in your own personal time Thank Jesus for the words that have been spoken and for His love that has been shown through that person.
It is something I am still learning to do and to embrace.

Colossians 4:6 - Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.

Luke 11:28 - But he said, "Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and keep it"

Acts 20:32 - And now I commend you to God and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up and to give you the inheritance among all those who are sanctified.

IMAGE
So many times we focus on what's on the outside and I think this will also combine the words section. So many times we let our image be defined by what we see or hear of the world and it is hard to get a handle on, but we must know and realise that we are made in His image. God knew what he was doing when he made us all  - the little quirks, our laughter, our quiet times, the way we worship, the way we feel, the way we celebrate. He has already thought of it all and has blessed us. We are all so unique and created in Him. We must remember that.

Genesis 1:27 - So God created man in His own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female.Colossians 1:16 - For by Him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities - all things were created through him and for him.

Psalm 139:14 - I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

It may sound a bit silly, but for the first time in forever I finally understand that I AM LOVED. Of course I'm loved by my parents, my family and friends but to finally understand that I AM LOVED by God, it is such a greater love.


1 Corinthians 13

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.  Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part
disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.  And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 
 

A new year – the next move.

So its 2014 and I am trying to figure out my next “move”

Late 2013 I had asked people to help me win a competition to win a free feedback session with a Broadway casting director ‘Duncan Stewart’ and I was thrilled to have won the competition. For me this was a big win and someone at a “Broadway Level” would finally hear my voice and I would actually get feedback on everything from my Headshot, CV, Song Choice and Look. So in mid December I sent in all the above and received my feedback from Duncan. He gave me great feedback and amazing compliments on my CV, voice, song choice and look. He also gave me feedback on parts in my song which have been completely helpful to change. But finally the truth has come out to why I have been getting through rounds and rounds of auditions, yet never getting that call to be hired. All because on my CV I don't have GREENCARD PERMIT! For all international performers wanting to work in USA they prefer you to have a GREENCARD instead of a visa. Duncan continued to tell me stories that he has dealt with as a casting director and people have been stopped at the border because their Visa’s haven’t fully come through in time when contracts needed to start. So with that news in mind – I may have to look into obtaining a greencard. SO MUCH EASIER SAID THEN DONE!

So my next move or what am I still doing in the states? Have I given up, NO.
I am finding ways to strengthen my skills and I am still finding ways to use my skills in surrounding local areas. Yet I am also following another avenue of work I love. But all these “life decisions” that we make have really been stressing me out and I have had many nights lying in bed and my mind hasn’t shut off and which has made me go to sleep around 4 or 5am. But one thing that I am doing over here is growing in my spiritual walk with God. I have said in other blogs that I feel my reason to come to the states was not for performing and I am constantly reminded of this and the doors that have opened to other avenues have been amazing. I am now exploring other visas that let me work for a company over here for 2 years, yes it is exciting but nothing is guaranteed that I will get this visa. I have been (slowly) reading a book called Crazy Love by Francis Chan (for those who know me I don't enjoy reading, yet it’s something that I have changed since being over here) and it talks about all worrying and stressing about situations and I have also had some of my friends over here enlighten me with the same verse of scripture.

Worry: Implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough to take care of what’s happening in our lives.
Stress: says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of GRACE toward others or our tight grip of control.

Proverbs 3:5-6  Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

That is easy to read, but hard to do. We all think we know what’s best for our situation. A good friend pointed this out to me. ‘Nathan you followed God’s plan to another country, you packed up your life and moved across the world. You didn’t know when you were returning home, so why are you now stressing/worrying about the next move in your life.’ That for me was a massive turning point for how I am now looking at the future. I literally let God take my all and He has lead me and provided for me. Not once have I worried whilst I have been over here, yet why am I now worrying. It was a good reminder for me that I need to loosen the “grips” over my life and surrender my life to Him again. He will never lead us into a situation that HE ALREADY KNOWS we won’t be able to handle.

I am constantly growing in life, learning new things and travelling abroad and living abroad is teaching my culturally as well as spiritually. I have made awesome friends/family over here that when the time comes for me to return home (whenever that may be) it will be very hard to leave. Have I changed – YES. Is it a good change – YES.

So let me rephrase my opening line.

So its 2014 and I await my next “move”

.:My Grace is sufficient for You:.

Alot of things have been happening and as per usual, I haven't been able to update my blog fast enough.

As I have mentioned a few entries ago, I attend a small group on Tuesday and Thursday nights. It was brought to my attention in early November that I may wanna share my testimony in small group. I was like yeah that's fine. About a week later it was "Nathan what do you feel about sharing your testimony at Large group" (Friday night - Youth service approx 100 College students) I then was knocked back as it is something that I have never fully shared before. But I said yes - as I knew it had to be done.

So I agreed and began to write my testimony out. You know when God places something on your heart and you begin to work towards it - He provides. So in about 3 days I had written my testimony, read it to a few friends back home in Australia and felt ready as I ever would be. So I was then told  I would be sharing on the last Large Group of the semester, before everyone started their finals and then began they journey back homes for their Christmas break. NO PRESSURE!
   Well come the day, I began to stress alittle too much, but as I said earlier when God places something on your heart - He provides. I met with a friend before the service where we spoke about it and she prayed over me. I then had my small groups sitting 4 rows from the front in full support for me (which really helped settle the nerves) but then someone said to me. No one is going to judge - It's your journey, this is Your story of how God has worked.
  As a performer whenever we stand up in front of a crowd or people we are judged on what we look like, our talent. It is something that I have gotten used to over all the years. But this time I wasn't performing, I wasn't hiding behind a "character song" or a "monologue" - This was all ME. So the time came for me to share, my mate Jordan prayed over me before I began - which is where I felt the nerves disappear. I then opened up with some word differences between the Australian language and the American language and that again settled my nerves.
I then quoted the last line of a song and at the moment - I looked at the room of people in front of me and I thought, Why was I scared?? these are not just "people" these are FRIENDS. The amount of love and support that followed was crazy. Hearing how my story/my life has helped me in their last weeks of school, to thanks for reminding me to never give up. That stuff is crazy to hear and I give all glory back to God - who has continued to work in my life and through people who have impacted my life.

I will say it again, my move to the states - I thought it was for performing, yet how I am being changed. Don't get me wrong I am still aiming for that performing experience. Yet I am learning so much about myself, personal growth, spiritual growth & living in another country is remarkable. I count my blessings daily. I am so thankful to be able to experience this. 

Let it Snow

Well from the heading of this blog I think it will be quite easy to see what this is about!

So I heard that it was going to be snowing on Sunday (but that being said we were also told a week ago it was going to snow but never really did) as I was getting ready for church I thought I would wear my thicker/warmer jacket just in case. As I walked out of the apartment to the car I felt a little bit of snow fall on my face. Made me smile but that was about all I saw fall.

So I got in the car (this week my friend Jordan was driving) I always enjoy the drive to church its firstly such a beautiful drive around the woods & secondly the conversation is great all the time! We arrived at church and it just felt like a normal Sunday.
After church had finished Jordan said to me - "wait until we get outside Nathan it's snowing." I just began to smile and I just couldn't wait. So we then headed towards the car - and I stood outside and just was in amazement of how much snow there was.
  This is the first thing I saw when I walked out of church. It was stunning, breathtaking! At this stage I wasn't that cold - I think because I was just so excited to finally see it and to see if all still falling. We then walked to the car (very carefully - it was abit slippery) and began to remove the snow from all the windows so we could actually get in the car, to then begin our (what usually takes 20mins) journey home.
We began driving and at this stage the roads were slippery and we had seen some people spinning their wheels as they went up hills - so Jordan was extra cautious.
   What happened next shocked us all! So with a trip that usually takes 20mins - it took us 2.5 hours to get home and this is why! The first way we went we were trying to not go up all the big hills to save us from spinning out as well. We sat in traffic for approx 45mins (That pretty much was not moving) After some further investigation as we began our U Turn we believe their was an accident further up hence the traffic not moving. We began to take another route home and we were actually moving, we then decided that now was a good time to pray and be thankful for the safe journey thus far and to prayer for safety over the other cars and us as the snow was not slowing down.
      We were going so well until we hit another set of lights! We then sat here for another 30mins with out actually moving, so what do you do when you spend so much time in a car with friends? Well we did a devotion and then we played "Heads Up" by Ellen! It was very interesting to play this in the car but all 3 of us (Jordan, Kyle & I) were having fun. What was stopping the traffic this time was 2x 18 Wheeler trucks stuck and blocking the whole road on a hill. This is when we first saw a car go up the opposite side of the road and then mount the median and go in front of the trucks - another 3 cars did the same and then we were like well lets try it!  So we followed a line of cars who did the same thing & our little beast of a car made it and we were then moving and on our way. Here I am in the back smiling still putting my window down and taking photos as we continued driving.

   

Our next mission was going down a hill were on the left side were cars stuck in snow. We had people who were crossing on to our side of the road trying to get up the hill and get past those who were now stuck in the snow, yet whenever we braked our wheels spun out. So this is where i give kudos to Jordan and his awesome driving and one car got very close to us - yet Jordan knew how to handle it (here I am still in the back of the car smiling looking at these cars stuck in the snow)  We finally passed the above hill and began our journey again. We had one last hill before we were home straight! (This being said most of the time we were travelling at like 20mph) Yet this time we got almost to the top of the hill and began to spin out. So Kyle & I got out and pushed the car just until the wheels weren't spinning out! (again I was smiling as I was happy to be standing and walking in the snow) We then got back in the car and began the last part of the journey until we got home!

I have been told that Delaware has not had this level of snow fall in a long time - several years! Makes me smile even more as I have been praying for a white Christmas for some time haha!

Jordan & I then began our walk back to our apartments & the main street was full of snow! Jordan then taught me how to slide down the main street and that was alot of fun!    Later that afternoon I made a snow angel, went sledding down a mammoth hill - that had a jump, with some good & new friends (Spencer, Brendan, Jordan & Andrew) we also made snowballs and threw them around!  

I am very thankful for the protection that we had whilst driving home & the guidance that Jordan had whilst driving.
I am very thankful for my American friends for making memories with me and making my time over here so swell and always challenging me and blessing my life at the same time!
I am thankful for the snow, it really is a beautiful and breathtaking thing for me to see. It falls softly on your face as you walk or standing outside with you mouth open as it falls on your tongue - to it falling so beautifully on the trees and houses. It is something that I will forever remember and I just wake up and look out my window and smile at His beautiful creation.

   

THANKSGIVING

So its almost been 6 months since I left Australia and have been living in the USA. 3 months in Philly working for the best summer camp program out their  #JKCP & now 3 months living in Newark, Delaware.

I have had many awesome memories and experiences that I am so thankful for and I have had days and nights where homesick kicks in and there is not much you can do...yet my beautiful friends from Australia just know how to fix that! Over these past 6 months I have learnt so much about myself 

Thanksgiving was last week, pretty much all you do is EAT & sleep & then EAT.. then repeat the cycle. It was very good...but it got me thinking what am I thankful for. I began to write a list it. This is just a few things that I felt I needed to share.

Thankful for: safe travels
Thankful for: inspiring friendships
Thankful for: supportive family (even though my decisions are crazy sometimes)
Thankful for: a place to live
Thankful for: music
Thankful for: God's hand over my life and his continuing work 
Thankful for: smart decisions (some a risky but I am safe)
Thankful for: laughing & memories
Thankful for: this opportunity
         My list can go on and on. I am sure we have alot to be thankful for & I feel we need to share it more with others who have impacted our life. So what are you thankful for??

Blessed + Urban Promise

So my week has been going amazingly! I have had so many encouraging moments and everlasting memories with my friends over here in the USA!I have also received some awesome messages from friends in Australia. It means so much then you will ever know.        I sometimes think that its pretty crazy that I packed up most of my life and moved to another country - to follow my dreams! But I sit here in my room as I write this, thinking that I am very blessed and glad I followed God's calling.
I am blessed that I have a VERY supportive family that shows continued support from overseas.
I am blessed to have met friends over here who have challenged me, encouraged me and who continue to change my life.As I sit here trying to count all the blessings I have received this week and I am running out of hands/fingers to count them on.#blessed

 So this Saturday we had about 40 kids, 7-14 year olds come from Wilmington (nearby town) from a program called Urban Promise (http://www.urbanpromise.org/) The college christian program on campus Intervarsity organised to have college students meet up with the kids and we show the kids around campus, playing sports with the kids, Manhunt and then the college students bought kids meals for dinner and just got involved in these kids lives and showed them love. (thats the short version - now for the highlights and blessings)

So it began on Saturday at 11am we were split into the kids group and handed scavenger hunt clues. We walked around the campus finding buildings or asking random college students their names where they're from and what are they studying. To watch these kids faces light up as we walked around the campus looking at these massive buildings and seeing that they could go here when their older was priceless. The kids where hanging off us, linking arms or holding hands they were just super excited for the weekend and to spend time with us.

After lunch we got to play games with the younger kids out on the "turf". We played american football, soccer and frisbee. I spoke to some of the leaders, got to know them more and about this awesome program and the kids and where they are from. I also got to sit with a kid who had asthma and was unable to play too much sport which was awesome to hear him talk about what he wants to do when he is older. Whilst I was talking to the staff we saw a random college guy walk up and pass the football to a kid and the kid threw it back - he was shocked the kid could throw the ball so well - so he continued to play catch with him... The college student later walked off with his friends yet asked what the program was as he wants to get involved! That was super awesome to sit back and watch. I then had the extreme pleasure of walking all the kids into the building in one line - but doing "goofy" movements on the way whilst keeping quiet... this is one of those moments where its all for the kids. To see their smiles as we waved to college students, spun around and just looked foolish was awesome! To see their leaders also just have fun with them was an awesome encouragement.

So night time came quickly and we meet up with some more Intervarsity college students to get ready for the kids to come for dinner. We each got either 1,2,3 or even 4 kids and we bought them dinner, sat and had dinner with them! This within itself was so awesome. Listening to the kids ask us questions about our lives or what we do, to then listening to them and laughing with these kids - it was a great day with everyone from Urban Promise!

I will defiantly be making an appearance at Urban Promise in Wilmington as I know other college students will.
   I ask that if you read this to prayer for the Intervasity team that organised it this year and to prayer for the college students who witnessed and showed love to these kids.
I ask that you prayer for the team at Urban Promise, they do such great work with these kids and after talking with the staff, it is a struggle sometimes but it's something that they can not do with out a higher strength and love from God. They love their jobs and it truly shows.
   I also ask that you prayer for the kids at Urban Promise, you may not know them by name but they are full of life - Pray that they will learn more about God and that their passions and dreams to go to college, study and to learn will be available to them.

 These kids never stop smiling!!!  #blessed